I am so furious about the idiots who have lately been using their snowmobiles to kill deer and ducks.  Down by Waupaca, several (presumably drunken) young men have run down and killed about 6 deer in a field.  This, in deeper snow that the deer can't run well in, and in this cold, cruel month of January, when the deer are exhausted, cold and hungry.  One of the deer was not killed, but just badly wounded, and had to be euthanized by wardens when the carnage was discovered. 

And now there have been two incidents of snowmobilers who seem to find it fun to skip their snowmobiles over open breaks in the ice, and in the process, kill ducks who have taken refuge there in the open ponds of water.  Each time, the snowmobilers have killed about 60 to 80 ducks.  Snowmobile dealers and clubs have offered about $2,000 reward already for information leading to the arrests of these thrill seekers.  I believe it is already against the law to skip over open ponds, but these incidents seem to have had the sick purpose of killing as many ducks as they can, besides. 

If I was a witch, I'd be placing a hex on these perpetrators of snowmobile animal killings.  But I can't help but believe that all of these crimes against the natural world are witnessed by higher powers, and that there must be consequences.  In the meantime, I just hope and pray that these latest duck killers will be turned in and punished.  The deer killers have already been turned in and their ugly faces appeared on the TV when they went to court. 

Another thing that makes me growl these days is the sight and sound of that whiner, Boehner.  Just about every day we see him whining and complaining and threatening his obstructionist politics, trying to preserve and further the failed policies of the Bush administration.  We, the voters of America, have rejected those failed political "solutions" and just want Obama's promises to come true.  Also, I can't believe how flaccid the Democrats have become in Congress; come on!  Where is the backbone, the outrage that we long to hear in our elected representatives?  They are a bit sheepish, aren't they?  Can it be that they have been compromised by the almighty Dollar?  Spread around generously by rich lobbyists?  Well?  What can be the reason we hear grumping and see foot-dragging about going after the spies listening in on our communications, on the relative ease of dealing with the Gitmo detainees, on prosecuting the torturers, on the bailouts for homeowners, etc. etc. etc.  There was much damage done in the past 8 years, so much so, that some people find it more comfortable now to just let it all go by, and do nothing about it.  But these negligencies will come back to haunt, I fully agree with that. 

But of course, there are still good, strong representatives and senators in the Congress.  I don't mean to criticize all of them....     

Seems I have posted that title more than once.  I thought I might try to get out today and spend some time with my daughter, but she is recovering from another bout of multiple sclerosis, and we spent a lot of time talking on the phone.  In a way, I'm glad I don't have to go anywhere, as I've been home for quite some time.  All appointments and social engagements keep getting canceled (by me) for one reason and another, and I'm just enjoying my shackhappy status and staying away from germs for awhile.  Everything is peaceful and holding its own against the cold, and every day, I do something that seems extraordinary, like cleaning out a drawer or going through a box. 

Day before yesterday, I again organized all the jewelry and found many, many brooches that have been collected over the years.  I really wish there was some place that was interested in all the many pieces of jewelry that I will never, ever, in a million years, need to wear.  What triggered this examination was that I sent in for a free ring, offered by a company that rewarded me with bonus points, so I thought what the hey, and sent in for the ring.  It's quite nice, and I wear it all the time now. 

So, back to self-reflection, going through drawers, and organizing and dusting - yes, dusting!  It just builds up and up, all the time. 

Staying inside mostly, but the scenery is nice to look at while taking my walks with Pepper.  The temps have been very reasonable, almost balmy feeling, but another cold snap is headed this way, with -20 degrees over the weekend.  The firewood has almost all been used up, and another load will have to be brought inside and stacked up in the living room. 

I've been trimming Pepper's fur in her back parts.  That's always a good thing to get done before the fur mats up and becomes a problem.  I have an electric trimmer, but have never even turned it on, as I'm sure I would end up pulling the fur, or not doing it right.  I use a cuticle scissors and hold it in my right hand, with the sharp end facing out; I use my left hand to hold the fur between two fingers and cut right behind them.  I always feel to make sure there is only fur behind the scissors, never flesh, and don't pull up and away from her body, so no skin will be pulled up to the scissors.  Whew!  In such dense fur, it is a scary thing to do, but now's the time to do it.  She always worries that I might disapprove of  her in some way, and keeps eye contact, so she can watch every reaction of mine, as if she thinks I might disapprove of her growing fur.  What a love bunny!  I so adore her.  

I'm proud of what Obama has done so far in his two days in office; these are the changes I can believe in, all right.  Rolling back the gas and oil drilling leases in the Red Rock canyon and other places, closing Guantanamo Bay within the year, and the other, many orders he's signed already, such as pay freezes for top staff.  When will it be our turn to get some help?  I signed up to do some work of unknown description to get the changes started, but doubt I can be of much use. 

Well, it's over now, except for the parties, etc.  I started watching first thing in the morning and just went through papers and magazines as I watched the pageantry unfold.  And...I cried...again....now and then...because we are so happy to be Americans, I guess.  Today, everything looks rosy and hopeful, but tomorrow the work of rebuilding the country must begin.  Michelle looked really good, actually, they all looked good.  Barack gave a very good speech about the changes that must come about.  Being concerned about the environment, I heard him say "no more consumption of resources without calculating the effects" or something of that nature.  Because right now, I am reading about the devastation of the Amazon basin in South America for oil production.  This, of course, has gone on long before I knew anything about it, and I am now concerned about sulfide mining in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  So close to home and far away, the agony of the earth goes on and on. 

Afterwards, I got ready, having made out my bills last night, got the truck brushed off and warmed up, went to town and mailed them all out.  There was even sand on the curves and hills to aid vehicles along over the slippery snow and ice.  That was nice.  Having paid the bills, I had enough money left in bank to buy a bunch of groceries again, so I went to Walmart this time.  The latest craze around here (dogs), are Li'l Smokies, tiny sausages, so I got 3 packages of them, and we'll see which flavor everybody (including humans) likes the best.  A bag of chicken breasts, a bag of shrimp, some more liversausage, bratwurst, bread and donut holes, coffee, and that will about do it for shopping for this month. 

Back home safe and sound, preparing to snuggle down, tending the fire and the critters, watching the tube, and being very thankful that America is still, and again, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

This is such a touchy situation for me.  After praying and pondering over everything, I decided the best thing to do was to call my brother and lay all the cards on the table.  Tell him everything and let him make a decision about his own life.  After all was said, he said he would be fine, just fine, if we let him be.  He expects the heat tape on his water lines to thaw the freeze out of his pipes, any day now, and he is not concerned at all about carrying water home by hand for bare essentials.  The only thing he needs, he says, is a shower, which his friend may allow when he goes for a visit today. 

As far as his financial situation goes, it is a lifestyle choice that he made years ago, and nobody, but nobody, can do anything about that.  His expenses for booze and cigarettes far exceed his ability to pay, so he is the only one who can do anything about it.  He smokes 3 packs a day, so there's $15.00 right there every day.  If he wants to change his lifestyle, that's up to him. 

But outside here, it's a winter wonderland, just beautiful, with snow clinging to the branches, piling up in fluffy white drifts, and it's not too cold out now.  It was almost 70 degrees in the house when I woke up this morning.  I made cinnamon rolls again, using frozen white bread bought at the store.  I got the recipe out of the newspaper...

                                  Cinnamon Rolls

Take out one loaf of frozen bread dough and thaw it under plastic wrap.  Roll dough to a rectangle, about 18x6 inches.  Brush with 2 tblspns. of melted butter.  Combine 2/3 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans, 1 tsp. ground cinnamon in a  small bowl, spoon over dough, pressing in a bit.  Starting at long edge, roll dough up, jelly roll fashion, pinch edges to seal.  Cut roll into 1" slices, lay down into 2 buttered round pans and let rise for 1-1/2 hours, until doubled.  Pour 1/3 cup heavy cream (I used milk) over the rolls and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.  Combine 1 cup of confectioner's sugar, 1/2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 tblspns. milk in a cup, stirring until smooth and the right consistency (add more confectioners sugar, or milk, if necessary).  Drizzle over rolls while still warm.  Makes 15-20 rolls. 

I just can't wait, I just can't wait, I just can't wait 'til Tuesday.  I've waited all year, it's almost here, I just can't wait - 'til Tuesday.  Although I won't be going to any of the festivities, no balls for me, no wavings, trainrides, block parties; my prayer is "Obama, stay safe!"  His daughter says "You better do good!" and that means staying safe, too. 

What should I do to celebrate the inauguration?  I think I will start a diet, and the only way I've ever been able to lose weight is to think "Stop eating!"  That means food.  A cracker to keep the hunger pangs at bay.  But after a few days, an overwhelming hunger takes over, even if you don't feel hunger that much.  An overwhelming desire to pig out.  Knowing that, perhaps I could prepare, in advance, to meet this challenge.  With one square meal, and nothing more.  Even if I wake up at night, wanting something to eat.  Just nibble until the stomach shrinks and appetite adjusts.  Of course, I'll still keep eating apples, oranges, grapefruit.  I did lose weight gradually, once, by giving up meat.  Actually, you need your vegetables, too.  Oh dear, there I go again.

Yesterday though, I spent the afternoon and part of the evening working on the bathroom plumbing, trying to get the drain either unclogged or unfrozen, whatever the problem is.  I did not succeed, but did manage to clean up the huge mess I made trying.  I'm glad that it's over, but the drain will have to wait for Spring to thaw out.  Also, the toilet leaks from underneath...it needs a new wax ring, I suppose.  I am not going to call a plumber - the last time I did so, it cost me over $300.  But that was when my mom was still here, and she had to use that bathroom.  Thank heavens I still have the other bathroom, which works fine.  I just need to move all my stuff over there and make myself comfortable there.  Right now, I call it the boys' room.  But I am in the process of abandoning my bathroom and will not use it until Spring comes.   

My brother's daughter does not want to, or cannot, do much more for her father, and after discussing with the family, I guess it is up to me to do something for him.  I am going to pray for a resolution, but my brain says that I am too old to do much for him either.  Time to call on the professionals, tomorrow.  I know I'm going to cry, though I think he will be far better off, living in the veterans' home.  He always does so much better than he thinks he will.  I only hope he isn't going to be angry and resist.  That would break my heart.     

I have to face the fact that I really haven't done much of anything lately, except care for my animals, cook and eat, watch tv, read,  keep the fire going, take out the garbage, and indulge in the bathing and shampooing.  The cold spell lately apparently was weathered fairly well by my body, but now that the temp is coming back up, I feel swollen and groggy.

Bad news about my brother has me still in a state of mild shock.  Apparently, he won't be able to go on much longer, as his water pipes are frozen and he lacks the money to have them thawed.  He is getting by somewhat by melting snow in a bucket to flush the toilet, and carrying 1/2 gallon jugs home by hand for coffee water, hand washing, etc.  But the real problem is that he can't manage his money any longer; has no idea of where it goes, or when it goes.  It is just gone and he can't explain it.  He is borrowing money to get by, and has no way to repay it.  I called my other brother to talk this over, and he is going to call my brother's daughter and see what she has to say about this.  He is a veteran and there is a vets' home nearby where he lives.  I am thinking it might be time for him to go live there, but everyone in the family thinks he will resist a move like that.  He will want his independence for as long as possible. 

Well, I guess this is what happens if you live long enough...but it's just another hurdle to get past.  I wish I could help him out, but I've already tried to get a mortgage extension to put another bedroom and bath on the lower level here, and was denied.  I certainly would not want to move away any further from my children, who give me the impression that they need me (I really believe that!), and I'm not in good enough shape anyway, to go to him and just help out.  Doing what, exactly? 

My own bathroom pipes froze up last night - I guess that's to be expected after a -25 degree night, but it actually got warmer last night, so???  Of course, I had turned off my little electric heater then; prematurely, I suppose.  So I better just take care of my own survival problems and let his daughter make the decision about his situation.  It snowed again last night, another 4-6 inches of the white stuff, so just getting out of the driveway is enough of a problem for me right now.      

The greenhouse that I keep my chicken in is working out so well, that even at -14 degrees below zero, she came busting right out this morning, ready for her breakfast of warm spaghetti and cooked peas, with laying mash, sunflower seeds, bell pepper scraps, cut up apple, and of course, a few oats.  Her water jug freezes right up, so I give her fresh water at every feeding, removing the frozen water and replacing the jug with a fresh one.  I bring in the frozen one, and when it thaws, the jug can be replaced.  This morning, I detected frost buildup (just a bit) around her beak.  I guess this would be built up from normal breathing in this weather, but the frostiness disappeared as she ate her warm breakfast.   

I had moved the greenhouse from the south (front) of the house, because I didn't think it looked good to have my picture window cut in half by its presence.  Also, the steep pitch of the roof brings snow and ice crashing down.  The west side of the house has a shed roof which melts the ice and snow off, and eaves troughs to catch the melt.  Although the sun is not as bright there, it will still do nicely for a greenhouse.  And I was able to put the header up higher than I had on the front of the house.  I put it up at least 6 feet, probably 7 feet.  That made the front wall at 4' high enough headroom to walk around bent over, even there.  All the struts are 2"x2"x8'.  I've braced the roof and side walls and covered the sidewalls with clear 4 mil plastic for now.  The roof is the plexiglass panels I got at Menards for $13.50 each, and there are 5 of them, 2' wide by 8' long.  So the greenhouse is approximately 10' wide by perhaps 7' long extending out from the west side of the house.  The chicken's house and yard (8'x2') are against the house wall in there, covered with 2 large tarps, surrounded and partially covered with straw.  The winter sun shines into her cage all morning long.  And she has her 40-watt lightbulb besides.  It's pleasant to go in there and take care of her.   

So do I really need to make it a pit greenhouse?  I could probably get by very well without digging it into the ground besides.  However, adding a "pit" feature would give me more room, and might possibly add warmth.  It would be nice if next year, I could grow veggies even in the winter.  So I might do that this coming year.   

I had taken an old home-made door last fall, and put "legs" on it, turned it over and set the legs on bricks.  Setting the whole thing at a slight angle against the house, extending it over the well pipe, so any rainwater would flow away from the house, I covered it with a very large doubled up tarp, and put a lot of straw under the table.  I can't get over how warm the straw is when you put your hand into a pile of it.  Arnie, the Wonder Dog, just loves it as his dog house.  Because the tarp is placed kitty corner over the table, held down on the wind side, he can lie out there, keep an eye on everything that is going on, and stay warm and sheltered besides.  But most nights, he sleeps inside in my bedroom, with Pepper. 

Our enormous pile of firewood takes up 1/4 of the living room space.  It is mostly pine, with some birch and oak, and smells very medicinal.  All dead, dry wood, burns hot, keeps the front rooms warm.  I had bought an oil filled electric heater for the bathroom, which feels frigid much of the time, but used it only once, just to test it out.  It's good to have a backup in case you need it.   

I believe all the seed catalogs in the country have now been sent to me, a huge stack of them, and I will soon start going through my seed box to see what this year's garden will consist of.  A lot of my fence posts have fallen down, whether pushed down by deer, or just rotted away at the base.  I have been purchasing metal posts as I can afford them and will replace the fallen ones as soon as the ground thaws. 

First, I want to thank you, Susan, for your wonderful words of encouragement in your comment to me.  I got so excited and inspired that I immediately burned the breakfast toast.  And not just a little!  Huge stinking grey clouds were swirling around before I even noticed, and when I opened up the toaster oven, fire spurted out.  I had to open a window and turn on a fan.  But if this is what it takes to get me started on my writing, then it's a good thing.  I've gotten out my Writers' Market manual, a huge tome, and have begun to check off publishers that might be interested in my novels.  I guess the first step is to go to their websites and see what they require for submission. 

Then on to the doctor appointment that was set up for me...there to find out that all infection is gone from me, and I had my ears flushed out, too.  That produced a terrible headache later in the day, after the water finally cleared out, that I tried to soothe with a heating pad.  That only made the pain worse, so next I tried a bag of frozen peas, wrapped in a towel, placed against the worst of the pain, and that worked very well.  In five minutes, the pain was going, going, gone! 

It is supposed to be very cold for the rest of this week, with temps not bothering to get above the zero degree mark, and I plan to spend the rest of this week at home, just enjoying the beauty of the cold, and keeping things from freezing up.  I went to the library yesterday after the doctor visit and got another bunch of books to read.  My interests seem to be taking me into study of the forests of the world.  As if I don't have enough books to keep me occupied for years! 

Then on I went to St. Joe's Thrift Shop, where I donated a beer box full of personal care items, like baby powder, hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, unused new hair curlers, etc. that are extras here and not needed.  The old ladies in charge there, after first nearly tripping me as I carried the box to their table and guffawing loudly about it, went through the box immediately, making ribald comments on everything they took out to examine.  I keep forgetting, I am an old lady, too. 

But that reminds me, the doctor I saw, one of the nicest people I've met lately, looked at me and said that he could tell that I and my daughter were very close, and very supportive of each other.  I said, in fact, she is my best friend.  He said he could tell by looking at me that this was so.  That warmed my heart to hear it.  He talked about how his wife and daughter were like that, too. 

There's always a reason to procrastinate.  Yesterday, I finally dragged up my "best" novel  onto the computer and took a look at it after all this time.  It is a good, exciting story, but I know it needs help from a professional writer or editor.  I only have to finish it, Part II, that is, and send it somewhere. 

The pine we've been burning, that I love for the blazing heat it provides, is running low, and we've got to burn old oak now, that is wet.  It provides a long-lasting, very slow fire compared to the pine, so we are mixing the pine with it as needed to get more heat. 

I'm finally through taking Cipro, the antibiotic that was lately prescribed for me.  I am going to keep the appointment that was made for me at the clinic and I'm not backing down.  I will, however, downplay my symptoms - "Oh, it's nothing, doctor, just a pain in my ear - could even be a tooth problem!"  How's that?  Actually, I do need to find out about this for once and for all. 

I am going to make chop suey today, cutting up a piece of  "on special" top sirloin steak for only $1.19, and will add a pork cutlet, cut up, for only $.77, also "on special."  These will be cooked to tenderness in a water/soy sauce mix, with chopped celery, onions and the usual canned bean sprouts, water chestnuts, pimientos, etc. etc. etc. and served over rice.  Gravy made in the pan at the end. 

I need to vacuum today and dust furniture.  Oh, the dusting, the dusting.  Then there's laundry to be done.  The side of my head hurts, and I have been taking naps in the afternoons lately, but today, I want to clean house for awhile. 

Yes, it's cold outside; another below zero night, and the constant need to keep the fire going has us up and down all night, managing it, and keeping an eye on the thermometer.  I've been going through my "filing box," cleaning out the old paid bills, combining papers, and establishing new envelopes for the new year.  My "financial picture," as I refer to my notebook that schedules all my payments, is okay; I'm still on track, having reduced my total debt by $1,500 over the past year.  That's pathetic - when Bush took office, I was reducing my debt by $3,000 per year.  My lifestyle hasn't changed, I haven't had unusual expenses.  I guess this is just a sign of the slowing economy?  The rise in the cost of living?  Of course, I don't work now...maybe that's it.  I wish I could get at least one of my credit cards paid off this year and keep it that way.

My notebook (one page per month) lists all my bills and debts in the order in which a payment is due and date it is due, going down the page.  I don't distinguish between "expenses" and "debts" since I will be paying on them regardless.  The top of the page shows the month, year, and total monthly income.  The debts show their current balance due as they are received for the month at the far right hand side of the page.  When I pay them, I put a check mark by the name of the bill and a tiny date that I paid, and next to the amount owed, I write the amount I paid.  If I paid a monthly expense, I just make a zero, showing I owe nothing (electricity, e.g.)  At the bottom of the page, I have four totals, Balance Owed Last Month, Amount Owed End ofThis Month, Paid Off This Month, and Balance Owed at End of Month.  The goal is to get the last amount to go DOWN consistently.  It always goes up just a bit in December, because that is when my Homeowners Insurance is due, and of course, the extra expenses of Christmas. 

That took all day, getting the box in apple pie order, ready for the coming year.  I am thankful I am still able to live in my own home.  I wonder how long.  I've gotta stay around for my dogs and chicken.....

The doctor I went to made an appointment for me on Monday to find out why I have such a pain in my ear.  I was surprised to get the notice of appointment in the mail.  I do believe it is time to actually find out what is going on in there.  Naturally, I'm scared - is it a brain tumor, doc? cancer? is it cancer?  It's probably nothing but wax buildup.  Meantime, the winter goes on, testing our resolve, our cars and trucks, our aching joints, water pipes, even nails that pop out of your siding. 

I'm taking the Christmas tree down today.  It's over.  I know some people take their tree down the day after Christmas.  I never get it up that early, so I leave it for a week or two.  I still love the lights.

I can't seem to keep track of days anymore.  All I know for sure is that it is Winter.  I am still taking antibiotics.  I took the sulfa-based antibiotic for 5 days, and would have died or ended up in the hospital with an allergic reaction if I had taken just one more of them.  I had sharp stabbing nausea, dizziness, rapid heartbeat, nightmares about dying, and jerking movements all through my aching body.  I called the urgent care place at the hospital, and they quickly gave me a different recipe for disaster, named Cipro.  I took Cipro before and it was working - maybe it will again.

So this whole thing began last summer?  With a prescription for a strange new antibiotic whose name escapes me.  It was only for 3 days.  That's when I think I started getting more? infections.  I don't even remember now why I needed that one.  Hey, wait a minute.  I could look it up on this blog.  I will have to do that later...but for now, then they gave me Cipro and that was for 5 days.  Five was not enough.  The infection came back, and then they prescribed SMX-TMP, the sulfa-based drug that I reacted badly to.  They wanted me to take it for 10 days, but the reaction occurred after 5 days.  Now I'm back on Cipro for 7 days.  Will they have correctly guessed this time?  I need to add sulfa to the list of things I am allergic to.

Just as scary is my recent bout of forgetfulness.  Just now, I found a pan on the stove, burning away, empty.  Forgot I was going to cook spaghetti and peas for the chicken.  I am kind of dizzy.  I hope this is temporary, due to taking antibiotics.  But there are many times during the day that I find things like that - things I forgot I was doing.  

My New Year's Resolution - stop singing stupid, goofy songs out loud or in my head.  Lately, I've noticed that I will hum just a refrain of some idiotic song that I wish I had never heard, just a few notes, like "doo-ti-doo-ti-doo-ti-doo-ti-ti" and then I catch myself.  I want silence!  Inside and out.  So that is what I have been working on.

Last evening, I made that recipe for guacamole again, and I love it!  I had cooked up some beans too.  John refried them and cut up strips of soft tortillas, fried them.  We had a wonderful Mexican feast of refried beans, fried tortilla strips, guacamole, sour cream, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and salsa.  I slept very well last night, and it was below zero again.       

I have been reading the two novels by Scott Smith.  One is "A Simple Plan" and the other is "The Ruins."  Both differed somewhat from the movie versions, or was it the other way around?  Can you imagine writing two novels, and having both of them become movies - how successful is that?  Another of my favorite writers, right now, is Joe Kane, who wrote "Savages" and "Running the Amazon."  I used to go online and order books from Amazon.com, but I can't afford to do this anymore.  That's why my library card is so active right now.  I can only afford to borrow books.  Another favorite writer, Clifford Pickover, has written a lot of books that are captivating to my mind.  I find it difficult to read more than a few pages of his writings at a time, as they are so mind-blowing.

It seems strange, a bit, that all summer long I was reading books about the Arctic, and all winter long, so far, I've been reading books about the Amazon jungle, where it's so hot and humid.  Maybe there's a method here?  I am beginning to build up a head of steam regarding my novels - I need to alter one drastically, edit one, and finish one. 

Tomorrow, I have two social engagements; one for brunch with 2 of my girlfriends, and one for lunch with my children.  So this amounts to my New Year's celebration - daytime fun, lots of coffee and food, and talking, talking, talking.  Last night, I just couldn't watch another glittering, entertaining, fireworks-ridden display; turned off the tv at 11:45 and fell asleep.  I did not have an alcoholic beverage, either.  I'm on medication and I've been very tired lately.  It wasn't cold enough to perform the usual New Year's ritual of going outside with a cup of hot water, throwing it into the air, and seeing it turn into snow.  It's better when it's below zero for that.  Well, this is why I'm Shackhappy.  I accept that. 

I made cinnamon buns with powdered sugar glaze yesterday as a New Year's Eve treat.  For awhile there, I thought I had overdosed on sugar...I ate four of them, and they were so good.  I dreamed about my mother last night, and have been reliving her last days, getting a new perspective on our time together, good and bad.  I can laugh now, and stop blaming myself for letting her die.  She was going to die anyway, I see that now.