I think I have recovered as much as I ever will from the stroke I had in early March of this year.  There is no difference or improvement in my eyesight, and no difference or improvement in my impaired speech/thinking.  Of course, dizziness from the medication still bothers me daily, and I don't like the taste it leaves.  I had my blood tested yesterday, and they are shrieking that it's a point lower.  So?  I can just take 1/2 pill more a week, and they don't have to get so excited.  I refused to come in more often for blood tests.  Nobody else tests me about the other pills I am taking, and I just don't get it. 

I spent a huge amount of money on food this month, more than I need, but it's a good feeling to know I am well stocked(?) for the upcoming festivities.  But there's a problem with my cookstove, and it doesn't seem like there's a lot I can do about that.  I asked my daughter to lend back to me the huge crockpot I loaned her, and the turkey will cook in that just fine. 

My son called to let us know that he and his buds are all safely stashed in their hunting shack, waiting for the deer season to begin.  That's today, of course, so I haven't let the dogs out, and I may have to tie them up for their own protection.  I normally just open the door after their breakfast, and they run out of here like arrows.  But they return very quickly; still, I don't want them to go.  Not today. 

I am almost through with Christmas shopping, and my "frugal Christmas philosophy" is beginning to take hold in my family now.  No expensive gifts will be required - if you want to spend a bunch on your partner, that's your business, but not for family or friends.  It's wonderful that food is being bought and expended to anyone who wants to eat up, and that's the Joy of this season. 

It was 42 (?) years ago today that he was born.  I had a house-ful of guests, sleeping everywhere, including my bed, but I was busy anyway, sewing the new neon-orange fabric over my husband's hunting pants by hand.  I would lie down on the couch if I felt tired and try to grab a few winks, but there were pains and perspiration.  I thought this could be labor?..?..  It's about time???

The early morning came, finding me frying hearty breakfasts for the men, and packing lunches for them to take along to eat at noon.  I think I may have mentioned that I might be having the baby??  Or not...

They left to hunt, and I began to pack my suitcase for the trip to the hospital.  Just in case this was it.  Called my mother to come and get me in awhile.  The weather, that's the thing that I remember the most.  As I got into her car, and later, when we arrived at the hospital, I really looked at the weather and at the snowdrifts all around us.  It was very cold, the snow was deep, and the wind was swirling around. 

My doctor didn't complain, but his red wool shirt was clearly visible under his hospital attire.  I wasn't the only woman who had ruined the first day of hunting season for him; there was another one in labor down the hall.   

The point is that the weather has changed since then.  On this day, in this year, there is no snow cover at all.  And this has been a concern for quite a few years now.  The ground is not frozen, and my planted spruce trees look very stressed out.  I planted over 100 of them some time ago, and water is the thing they have lacked all these years.  There are parts of the country getting so much rain, it washes everything away, but on this upland forest, rising by an inch or so a year, we need the rain.  I am gratified this morning to find a few drops of rain falling, but it is not a substantial amount. 

But HE was born later that morning or afternoon, I can't remember the exact time now, and he was such a joy to us all. 

I seem not to have much of anything to post about lately.  I am happy, but not as up to snuff as I used to be.  I have a common cold, and I need to blow my nose a lot.  This makes me punchy and easily irritated, causing me to mis-step, mis-place, and mis-everything.  I actually dragged in downed branches from the woods, and cut them up, using a light-weight electric chain saw.  That's probably when I caught cold, and also nearly ruined my back/neck again, too.  But I am pleased that I cut up some thinner oak branches all by myself.  I have been enjoying the fires I build everyday now.  Everybody around here is waiting - just waiting - for winter to begin in earnest.  I'll go out there again today as soon as I am finished ruining my eyes on this computer. 

I did go into town yesterday; there to purchase the 4 items I needed to get at the grocery store.  $76.00 later, I dragged all the bags in and made a huge, scrumptious salad, steak, and potato puffs for supper, along with my latest craze for Jello with tropical fruit and lo-cal whipped topping.   

Ugh!  Gob!   

Been feeling very good lately, except for the dizziness and eyesight problems, which seem to be here to stay.  Just have to compensate for those two features.  This coming week, I will be expected to drive to my daughter's house for T-Day.  The Packer Game starts before noon, I think, so the turkey will be cooked and eaten before it gets dark (now at 4:00).  They want me to be back home by then. 

I have been preoccupied lately with getting ready for Christmas!  Today, in the nice sunshine, I will help get more firewood in from around the house, and I might put some corn out to feed the deer.

My dogs are good, behaving well, and not leaving home much.  The guns are blasting away in the woods, hunters sighting in their weapons for the hunting season.  I knitted a blaze orange neckband for the dog to wear on his runs through the woods with John, but Pepper, who looks so like a bear, can't keep anything on her neck (things just slide off). 

I very much like my hair at this shorter length, and it is easier to comb and brush too.  I somehow feel like I am waiting for something (big) (wonderful) (important) (scary) to happen to me now.  I suppose it is the mentality of our times. 

Going to make a beef stew today, and tomorrow, I should go to town to pay bills, and pick up a short list of grocery items.  I'm almost out of coffee.  I know that the winter PROJECT will soon become apparent, but I am in no hurry to find out what it is. 

What project will be mine inside the house this winter?  There is something about this "problem" that makes my mind skip from one thing to another without getting anything done at all.

I've been keeping the everyday things done, so I'm ready to get started on something spectacular....what, oh what will it be? 

And lately, I've been thinking about the books that I wrote last year.  I've taken a peek, and all I see leads me to believe that I have done a first draft that needs to be rewritten.  I can now criticize without fear.  This book is not going anywhere in this form...

And then the big question looms as I look around - to whom shall I take all my "stuff?"  Who will want any of all this that occupies my living space?  I saw a book of Japanese lifestyles that showed a room only occupied by a mattress and covers on a raised platform of sticks, a lamp on a small table, and bamboo coverings at the window.  No pillow for your dog to lie on, no coffee cup on the stand, no plants burgeoning at the window, no slippers and shoes piled up, no chair to throw clothes on.  Oh, they probably put everything away for the picture.

Well, the firewood pile is enormous now, probably 5 cords built up already, more coming in every day.  I am beginning to feel ready for the usual winter weather.  If winter ever begins this year.

It's been delightfully warm this Fall, and I can't help but like it.  The sun is slanting through the forest, and making everything look golden and magical.  I was on the phone, talking to my sister last evening, and she was standing outside on her patio, and the wind was whistling and whining around her property - this is H. Ida, from the weather channel.  She lives in Alabama. 

I've been so sore lately, I must rest and stop doing things.  My back is creaky, my head is dizzy (medicine?), and I feel tired much of the time.  Though now would be the time to get outside and do things, well, it will have to wait until I feel able.  So I'm staying in today, nurturing the enormous spider bites on my neck and at my waistline.  From working with leaves, no doubt, and firewood.  The bites are hugely swollen, and constantly itchy.  I wash them several times a day, put anti-itch cream on them, and that brings relief for awhile.  

John has been bringing a truckload of pine firewood every day, and the pile is getting huge.  When the house gets a bit chilly, I start a small fire in the late afternoon, to warm the house up for the evening.  For a few sticks of wood, we are comfortable all night.  My underfloor heat is keeping the house at 65 degrees, and it is about half way on.  I'm doing a load of dishes today, and a load of clothes.  The clothes are in the dryer now, and that warms the side room up. 

I've made a change to my cooking of the dogs' food - I no longer add any spices to their cooked meals - it isn't natural for them, and they have noticed this change in complete silence, which I am assuming, is approval.  I've also gone to a better (more expensive) brand of chicken, and this has brought rave reviews from both of them.  They whine and cry for more, which is the ultimate compliment from a dog.  But I have to limit the amount they get, since it is more expensive.  All this in addition to their regular kibble, fake bone, cookie, and meat and rice combo.  I give them about 1/2 cup per meal, and they can have all the kibble they want (it's less than a veggie can-ful).   And I divide their rations between how many times they want to eat every day.  Pepper wants 3  small meals during the day, and Arnie will not eat until late evening, when he wants 2 larger meals.     

And my dear Suzie Q. Chicken, just goes along in the nicest way, eating two square meals a day of a cooked cereal like rice, oats or noodles, ground corn feed, sunflower seeds, dirt for her digestion, pieces of apple, grapes, etc., bread torn into little pieces, and any and all vegetables that I have, be they peelings or pieces.  Worms or bugs are a distinct treat.  I don't feed her meat, per se, but if a little piece or two gets into her food, that's okay.  Her portions are small, but altogether, one meal is about 2 cups of food. 

Life is but a dream....   I am so sore these past few days, I can hardly walk properly.  I wonder if the spider bites have any effect.  I should force myself to go for a walk with Pepper right now.  

On this Sunday, I can truly say I have completed all my outdoor chores/activities for this year, and the inside of the house is fairly well cleaned and neat.  Even the leaf blowing has been re-done, the garden fence posts have been placed upright, all miscellaneous items have been tucked in somewhere, and things look pretty well cleaned up outside.  I bought a bale of straw last time I was in town (probably mentioned that already) and it has been distributed in the dogs' favorite places to lie down outside.  Arnie especially enjoys the straw, even lying down in the chicken's lean-to, where I store the extra straw. 

Today was the day I finally got around to bagging up a large amount of garden soil in an empty corn sack, to be saved indoors for the chicken.  There is nothing that keeps a chicken's heart happy like a shovel full of garden soil to scratch through and look for goodies that only she can see...  And I think that the soil helps her digest the variety of kitchen scraps she gets on a daily basis. 

Well, I am very happy that the work I set for myself has been done, and I now can finally concentrate on doing something spectacular inside the house.  Wonder what it will be?   

This was originally the English Muffin bread recipe from the Rutherford Inn of Napa Valley, CA.  I've been making it for years, but yesterday, John asked me to include the "special" ingredients he favors.

                          English Muffin Bread

2 pkgs. yeast (or 4-1/2 tblspns.), 1-1/4 tblspns. white sugar, 1/4 tsp. baking soda, 2 tsp. salt, 5-1/2 cups unbleached flour, 1/3 cup oat or wheat bran, 1/3 cup flax seed meal, 2 cups milk, 1/2 cup water, and about 1/3 cup semolina, and 2 tblspns. butter. 

I melt the butter in the microwave for several seconds, and use a brush to butter up the insides of 2 loaf pans.  Then throw the semolina into the pans.  Tilting and turning, the semolina spreads around the bottom and sides of the pans and they are ready.  Put the yeast into a larger bowl, add the sugar, baking soda, salt, and 3 cups of flour.  Heat the milk and water in a pan and don't let it get too hot.  Just warm is fine.  Stir in.  Add the flax seed and bran to the remaining 2-1/2 cups flour and add this to the dough.  Stir it in with a big spoon.  The dough will be thick and pasty.  Drop it by big spoonfuls into the loaf pans and sprinkle more semolina around on top.  Cover the pans with a clean towel to let them rise, 1 hour or more, until they double and show over the tops of the pans.  Preheat the oven to 400 deg. and bake for 25 minutes.  Turn out onto cooling rack.

After the trying time I had listening to the current weight loss program at the Y, I got a grip on self and remembered my Granny Jahoda, who was climbing mountains into her 70's, and who never had trouble with weight loss.  Whenever she wanted to lose some weight (usually before going to visit other relatives), she would cut down her portions until the desired weight was lost.  Period....end of story.  You don't need to give up carbs, red meat, sweet treats, or anything else you would normally eat, including your hard-won "good-for-you" foods.  Your body needs a full and balanced diet.  Just smaller, teenier-tinier portions, and I have found that using small dishes and bowls works good for me.  And just getting serious about my intentions.

My only treat now is using packaged chocolate mixes to add to my coffee.  One packet of the Swiss Miss is 120 calories, but I add only 1 tblspn. to a cup of hot coffee, and the packet lasts for several days, so I'm not getting too many calories, but still enjoying a sweet treat. 

I cut my hair the other day.  It was so long that I had trouble getting to the end of it with a brush.  I pulled the sides away and cut the back off to what I thought was short.  Then each side was cut to join with the back.  After a few snips to straighten out any "underhair" stragglers, I ended up with a very decent looking pageboy cut that I am pleased with.  The sides are now chin length, but the back still is a bit longer.  It feels and looks good.

Today's the Viking (Brett Favre) game with the Packers in Green Bay.  My son is on his way to watch the game with his friends, and I'm just about ready to settle down and watch. 

I got my pumpkin carved and it is the best, cutest, friendliest one I've ever made, I think.  I am so reminded of Tom Hanks finding companionship from the face he carved on the coconut in that movie about him being shipwrecked.  Okay, I have this little pal, shining forth from the top of my tv set, looking out the window.

I got a lot of work done today, but not as much as I hoped to do.  I had been aching terribly from yesterday's efforts, working on the woodpile, but today, I worked on the woodpile and seemed not to hurt myself.  I still took a warm bath in epsom salts to ward off any problems.  I also got the north wall of the chicken's lean-to closed in with a tarp I screwed into place.  It won't get blown off or pulled off by a raccoon.  She'll be a bit cozier, but I see now that I will have to have a front piece of sheltering plastic sheeting up, too.  Tomorrow. 

It snowed overnight, and I built a nice fire, using the last of the wood that my daughter brought for me.  John has been bringing and splitting a load every day in his truck, and I've been stacking it, protecting all with the huge tarp I brought up from the garage.

And bread.  I told John I would bake bread today again, and decided to make a different kind.  But no matter what kind I decide to make, he wants to have the wheat bran, semolina, and especially, the flax meal in it.  I decided to alter the usual English Muffin bread recipe and incorporate those ingredients into it, and the loaves are rising now, soon to be baked.  This is the same recipe that I ruined a couple of weeks ago, when I didn't wear my eyeglasses, and forgot to put in the required amount of yeast and added way too much liquids.  But these loaves look good.  I may blog the recipe tomorrow.   

Don't forget to set the clocks back one hour tonight.  I won't like putting the chicken to bed by 4:30 tomorrow afternoon, but it will happen that way from now on, for awhile.   

I'm back inside after piling and sorting the firewood that John has brought home from his many travels.  He gets the pine that nobody else seems to want, but we find it quite enjoyable.  We can always find some oak to burn with the pine and eat up the pitch that might form on the chimney walls, inside.  But checking with a mirror held in the bottom of the chimney shows that there is not much buildup of tar or whatever the heck it is....we started to have a chimney fire earlier when we first began having a fire to warm us, but John quickly put it out, and the chimney was cleaned of any leaves or soot that was built up.  Good thing I brought up that huge tarp to cover the pile, as it rained all last night pretty hard, and everything would have been soaked. 

I'm making a pot roast now; it's almost finished, except for the pasta to be served with it.  I'm making penne, both white and whole wheat, because I've had a lot of potatoes lately, and the pasta will be good, too.  I trimmed most of the fat from the beef roast, and cut it into 3 big hunks.  Put it into a soup pot, added one can of cream of mushroom soup, 1/2 can of water, several large mushrooms cut into slices, a stalk of celery, cut up, a cut-up carrot, and 1/2 cut up onion; and Lawry's seasoned salt, with lemon pepper and paprika.  It is almost done now, and smells delicious.  

I am still learning to cope with my debilitation - the stroke, plus old age.  I have learned that my temper has become such a problem that I need to be constantly aware of it.  I talk to myself from my spiritual center, saying "no, no, now, not that again" whenever I feel the mechanism flare up that makes me angry.  This helps me put the temper in place - I don't want God to see me angry, especially over the silly things that make my temper flare.  I recall my early years, and I know that my temper was not a problem back then, and I was much more able to remain on an even keel.  This has all been helping to keep me cheerful and humble, knowing that the human race is, after all, subject to its own limitations. 

The other thing that threatens to overwhelm me is my own physical limitations on what I'm able to do these days.  Not much compared to my former self...and yet, what was I?  A mere woman, who learned to live within my boundaries.  And I can learn a new way, again, for the present time.  Not gonna get me down.

I've been getting enough sleep lately, that's for sure; I managed to sleep right through the program I was going to watch on the Travel Channel, hosted by Mr. Zimmern, who has a cooking/travel show.  But fortunately, my daughter taped the show, and I will get to see it after all. 

Yesterday was warm and balmy, plenty of sunshine, and I decided to get out my leaf blower and see what I could do.  I was impressed, even though I only did my rock garden, part of the driveway, front lawn, and path around the house.  It was a good job, and I didn't hurt myself doing it.  I laid down a lot of clean straw on the path I travel to the chicken's house, and Arnie, the Wonderdog, was so impressed with my work, that he laid down on the straw and wouldn't come in for his supper.  He tried to talk me into bringing his food out to him, but eventually had to give up and come in. 

The wind and rain proceeded through the night, turning into a hissing and smacking sound by this morning.  I went out in my flip flops to drag a big tarp up from the garage to cover the wood pile, and after flipping and flopping around for what seemed like a long time, I got the woodpile covered up, and noticed that my feet, wet, cold and leafy, were quite cold; as cold as if I had ventured outside in winter. 

And I couldn't help but notice that you would never know that I had used the leaf blower today; but then, there are very many leaves still on the trees, and the wind has been swirling them around, too.  Oh well.  I knew this would happen. 

I made a boiled dinner last night, using a Kielbasa sausage.  It was comfort food, with veggies, at it's best.   

Oh where is he???? I am just as worried as if he was a child - the deep-seated worry.  I let him out when he wanted to go out, and he has not been seen or heard from since.  It is wet and cold on the ground, so he is not lying down anywhere in the woods.  If he can't come home tonight, I will be banging on the door of the animal shelter tomorrow, in the hopes that someone from there just picked him up.  But he wears a collar with our phone numbers in bold lettering around his neck - so what the heck?  Why haven't we been called by now?  He never disappears from here - not since he became mature and sensible enough to stay out of trouble.  He had a bloody paw the last couple of days, and that might indicate some snare problems.  Oh stop!

A large buck with a fine rack accompanied our doe this evening, as she tiptoed past the house, down by the garage.  I had gone outside to again call the dog, but my calling only produced stamping by the buck.  My Pepper's been lying on the floor, appreciatively lapping up treats as I give them to her. 

I made a crockpot full of beans today.  I put in as many kinds of legumes as I have in the cupboard, and cleaned up all the little bags of chickpeas, lentils, and soybeans that needed to be cleaned up and used before I get another supply.  I also put in white northern beans, black beans and pinto beans.  I got 3 cups of mixed beans, 4 cups (at least) of water, and the spices that appealed to me right then - salt, lemon pepper, paprika, um..., ketchup, brown sugar, vinegar, and whatever else I thought appropriate at the time.  But only small amounts - I didn't want to overdo it.  I made very lean hamburgers and added a dish of corn chips on the side.  I am full, and will eat my Jello dessert with Cool Whip later on. 

I know that many problems exist in the world today, far more serious than a missing dog, but I am praying that he will come home soon, or be found safe and sound. 

Latest news this evening - HE HAS NEVER BEEN LOST, JUST TOOK A RIDE WITH DADDY WHEN HE WAS PICKED UP ON THE ROAD!  HE'S SAFE AND SOUND!     

He invited me out to eat Friday night fish fry, and I gladly accepted, providing he could pick me up and bring me home.  Which he did, after work, and I waited at his house while he showered and got ready.  His wife was still working, but she too came home and got ready to go.  Meanwhile, her dog and his cat sat in front of me, intently staring while I ate string cheese, hoping I might give them a piece now and again.  Then off we went to the restaurant to feed ourselves. 

But many of the guests were hungry for other things, and I found myself experimenting with something called "Chicken Oscar" for once.  Mistake!  Asparagus spears were canned, crabmeat was fake.  The fish was the prize.  But my daughter's husband gave me haddock fish strips to try at home, with his Sicilian breading.  Last night's home-cooked food was much better....

There were a few flakes in the air as we entered the restaurant, but when we came out, the snow was already several inches deep.  Good thing my son was taking me home with his 4-wheel drive truck, and it was quite the wintry ride.  But everyone made it home safe and sound.  My doggies were waiting for me out in the storm, and they were wet! and happy! to see me get home.  It is good to be home and taking care of what little things I can do - I'm dizzy a lot, and feel slow-witted - winter's approach, no doubt. 

The snow has melted away mostly in the following rain, and things are quiet.  Good to know that I have another whole week of October to get something special done in the house.... 

I don't know what is wrong with me lately, but I feel bearish about people being there.  I think I am so worried that I'll catch flu that I don't want to be around anybody. 

I went to the YMCA to sit on a hard folding chair with a couple of other fatties (fatter than me) and listened for hours and watched a slide show that didn't move forever, and finally they came to the punch line (the money part) and I found out that I would be expected to give up whatever good foods I have garnered to my lifestyle and trade them in for boxes of food that, with hot water added, will taste reasonably well, and you can eat as many boxes of food a day as you crave, along with a couple of powdered milkshakes (not milk) and this will guarantee you will lose the weight (if you don't eat more than 2 boxes a day), and it will cost you three times as much as you spend now, but you will also be watched by doctors or somebody important, and be evaluated as you go along to make sure they don't become liable if you have troubles.  Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again. 

I left as soon as the presentation was over.  My back and butt were killing me.  I would have to drive into town at least twice a week to fulfill all the obligations.  Well, I wanted to know.  I was sick in bed next day with flu-like symptoms, and took many home remedies, which worked and I felt better.  What other things - oh yes, I was at the Y and I thought, this is where I would go to get in the pool and swim for exercize.....not this kid, not in winter.  The mere idea!  Maybe I'm such a woosy that it doesn't appeal to me, but I'm not gonna do that, either.  Now to snuggle down and prepare for winter's blast, nesting beside the fire, under a cozy blanket.   I'll eat my healthy bread, one slice a day, with reduced calorie spread, and last night, I made cranberry sauce to eat with my bread.  What a nice treat!  Weight loss will have to occur in a more natural way, I think. 

I have begun the indoor work for this Fall.  I watched that show on TV about Obsessive/Compulsive/Disorder (OCD), and although I know I am not one of those people, I sometimes can relate to their anguish when throwing things away.  I still remember certain things I have taken to Good Will that can't come back.  A box of coffee cups, perhaps 15 or 20, that could not fit in my cabinet anymore.  I still remember them, but as I look at that cupboard today, I am barely able to get all that I have into it.  I don't know how I manage to capture and save all the things that I have.  Today's efforts will be to focus on BOOKS that pile up on dressers, tables, bookcase tops....last night I found that I DO have a copy of "Lord of the FLIES" (not Rings), that I had completely forgotten about. 

Senator Russ Feingold was here in the Northwoods yesterday, and I had planned to go with a friend to the meeting.  But I was very dizzy all day and decided it would be better not to go.  John went and said the meeting was good and nobody caused trouble... 

Our snow has finally disappeared, and the leaves are falling fast, coloring and covering the forest floor.  So many leaves remain yet to fall, and the whole world outside is golden, with red trim.  So on I must go, staying inside, and focusing real attention on what I must do to minimize my possessions, and that will be very hard to focus on. 

I have also decided to try to do something radically different about my weight.  I am at least 50 lbs. too heavy, and while I mostly feel comfortable with that, I know that my heart is working too hard, my bones are stressing out, and my circulation must be impaired.  I am seriously considering going to a professional organization to make weight loss happen.  The local hospital is offering a weight management program, and I'm going to call them up on Monday to register.  I might also start swimming at the YMCA.....  

So I spent yesterday in the kitchen, baking bread.  Here's my best recipe for bread that is natural and good for you.

2 pkgs. dry yeast (or 4-1/2 tblspns.), 2 tablespoons sugar, 4 cups warm water, 4 teaspoons salt, 10 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour, 1/3 cup semolina, 1/3 cup milled flax seed, 1/3 cup wheat bran.  This will make four big loaves, so use a very large mixing bowl.  Mix the yeast with the sugar, add the warm water and stir to mix well.  Measure the salt into the flour, then add the semolina, milled flax seed, and wheat bran into the flour and mix well.  Add 4 cups of flour mixture to the water and yeast, mix well, add 4 more cups of flour, mix again, and add the remaining flour and stir in. 

Turn out on floured surface and knead for 10 minutes, adding more flour as necessary to prevent hands from sticking.  Return dough to bowl, cover and let rise for 45 minutes.  Punch dough down, fold dough over two times, adding more flour to prevent sticking, cover and let rise for 30 minutes.  You will need about 2 more cups of flour altogether for all the kneading to prevent stickiness. 

Divide dough into 4 parts with a sharp knife.  Roll each piece into a ball, let rest 5 minutes.  Knead all the air out of each piece, shape into ovals, then roll each one like a jelly roll.  Place into buttered loaf pans, or butter a cookie sheet, and place 2 rolls of dough side by side for baguettes.   Let rise double.  Place a pan of hot water in bottom of oven, if you like, to glaze the crust while baking.  Brush loaves with egg/water combination, beaten together.  Sprinkle loaves with shredded cheese, sesame seeds, etc.  Bake at 400 - 450 degrees for 30 minutes.  Bake only two loaves at a time, so you have more room.  Or do nothing to the tops, and just butter the top crust lightly after baking to keep crust soft, if you like. 

Don't be shy with the additional semolina, flax meal, or wheat bran that was added to the flour.  You can change these ingredients to whatever you like or have on hand; i.e., wheat germ, quinoa flakes, oat bran, etc.  I personally like to always put in the milled flax seed, and whatever else I have on hand in the cupboard.  This recipe makes 4 big loaves, so if that is too much, it is easy to cut the ingredients in half and make just two loaves.  But here, the first loaves go fast, and it's good to have extra. 

Now, my dreams are different and exciting, even scary sometimes.  Before my stroke, I was generally bored with my dreams, which were monotonously dull and regular.  But nowadays, I wake up, not when I just do, but when the dream is finished!  This morning, the dream girl told me to sleep on for awhile, so she could finish the plot of the dream!  So I did!  Can't now remember a thing about the dream, though.  Dream Girl, you are kind of silly.

My chicken is old, and lately, I've been wondering if chickens age like dogs and cats.  There is no difference in her appearance at all, no gray hairs, I mean feathers, no limp or gimpiness, she sings to me in her same voice.  The only thing worrying me now is that I have raised her water jug up higher on the fence by several inches; not only is the water kept clean, but I haven't seen her drinking from the jug, either.  I hope such a small move is not beyond her abilities to recognize it.  So yesterday, I lowered the jug a bit to where it is only a couple of inches off the ground.  She didn't seem to notice or care.....

We are burning all the old, rotten firewood now, before the really cold weather is here.  It doesn't burn hot, like dry hardwood, but it doesn warm the house to about 70 degrees or less, and that's fine for this time of year.  Gets rid of the old wood that is just in the way.  

I made bread the other day, and didn't wear my glasses; so of course, I mis-read the directions and put in way too much liquid.  The resultant mess has been sliced up, and can be fed to Susie Q.  Today, I will bake real bread.  Wearing my glasses.    

You do too deserve this award, no matter what you may think, or your detractors may scream.  I remember that wonderful evening that thousands of people of all colors stood waiting to hear the election results, and the looks on their faces when you won.  The cheers, the tears, and the wondering smiles of joy on their faces, hugging each other.  Millions of people are on your side, hoping for a better world.  Don't be discouraged by detractors who scream their unknowing, money-serving epithets in your direction. 

We woke this morning to snow on the ground!  What a beautiful day, the leaves of red, gold and green, with a white frosting all around.  The wind sounds like winter, doesn't it?  Is it possible to tell exactly what time of year it is by the sound of the wind? 

Very strange psychological changes have been occurring in the minds of us mere mortals - last night John and I discovered that our minds have returned to ancient hurts that we only dimly recognized existed in our pasts.  We have seen these events and tears were shed, but we did not know what each of us was experiencing  until we talked about it last night.  What marvelous events have caused us to remember ancient sadness?  Is it related to the piratical health insurance companies' practices of gouging us to death?  Is it Autumn, coming to remind us of winter's approach?  Is the planet spinning into uncharted territory whose very space contains memories' fragments? 

Today, John has headed out to take his mother down-state to sit with his sister's daughter, who is having a baby.  Labor has begun, and who knows what new method of birthing the girl will try this time?  Last time, she had the baby in a pool of water, giving birth like a dolphin......

I'm staying home, cleaning house, and have decided to begin baking bread all the time now.  Today, it will be English Muffin Bread.  Next, it will be my own recipe for very healthy scrape-your-colon-out bread that really tastes good, also.  Yes, baking time is here.

Keith has been hitting the health care subject hard and true, just like I like to have someone do who can look up facts and be listened to.  I was very inspired by his show ranting exclusively about our health care system - actually, the insurance companies' health care system.  We need a big change of the pernicious money-grubbers who are stealing everybody blind and causing so much suffering in this country.  Death panels, indeed!  We have them right now, in the hands of the insurance companies!  I am cheering Keith on, thinking that he is more like Edward R. Murrow than anyone else out there. 

But lately, I have been introspecting about my life as a citizen of this country.  The truth is, I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for 1) our Social Security system and 2) our Medicare/Medicaid system, which is all I've got, now that I'm old enough to qualify for those programs.  These have saved my life.  And maybe this country doesn't need me anymore, but it is right and good that I can enjoy my shackhappy life, learn more and more about myself, and be there for my children and grandchild.  So my life has purpose and meaning, in ways I could never have imagined until experiencing them. 

But all this has made me so introspective and shocked at what I have been able to survive and overcome in my youthfulness.  It warrants neither heroism nor grief, no celebrations or recognitions.  Just completion and surety that my life was meaningful and hopefully, of value to our Creator and my fellow human beings.  Perhaps I solved some personal dilemna that has perplexed the ages of humankind....

And back to everyday reality.  The weather has become increasingly colder and wetter lately.  We actually got more than 1" of rain overall!  The personal struggle now is to gather firewood and do any weatherization (insulating) that needs to be done before it becomes frightfully cold. 

My daughter came and took me to the clinic to have my blood tested, and we were to get our regular flu shots at the same time.  I got mine, but her MS symptoms were really bad, and they told her to wait until her condition gets a bit better.  We did a little shopping, stopped for a lunch break, post officed, and home again.  I need to get off the computer now, get out there, and gather firewood.  The tree trimmers have come along the road, cutting down trees that might become problems for the power lines, and the wood can be gathered by anybody who can do so.  Oh, to be younger and stronger!  I'll do what I can.

Got the back wall of the garage painted yesterday afternoon, after it warmed up for the day.  Had to use a paintbrush, which made painting go much faster on plywood.  Was done with all of it by 4:00, and can say that I only ached in my back and arms a bit.  But a hot bath and a good supper of leftover beef stew, then changed my sheets, cleaned up my bedroom good. 

I spread the pieces of blue fleece batting over my bed, and saw that I have enough for a large (even king-size) bed.  All I have to do is sew the pieces together, and I will be cozy for winter.  I had purchased these remnants a long time ago, kept all these years, knowing that they would eventually come in handy.  Now I can sew them together with contrasting yarn in a clever stitch along the edges, and mesmerize myself every night as I watch tv.  I already got them washed, so they are fresh and fluffy.  What color yarn should I use?  Should I put a backing on?  The mind likes to play these simple games. 

I'm putting a link up to my son's snowshoe baseball game that featured a tv personality, Zimmer on the Travel Channel.  Wish I could be more specific about it, but that's all my kids tell me....

A fire was built in the fireplace last evening, the first of the current heating season.  Today, the last day of September, I should try to get things done that still remain to do.  That would be painting the back wall of the garage....everything else, including bringing in the tomato plants, has been done.  Yesterday, my daughter took me to get my blood tested again, and it is wildly off the mark.  They keep adjusting meds, and I have to keep adjusting to their schedule.  I am recovering nicely from yesterday's efforts, bringing in the potted tomatoes, etc. 

But the rains have stopped and the sun is shining brightly in a clear blue sky this morning.  It froze last night and the trees' leaves are crackling in the sunshine.  All morning chores have been done.  Taking my medication(s), eating my toast and freshly-brewed coffee, feeding the chicken and dogs and letting them out, filling the wild birds' food jugs, sweeping the floor and watering the plants (every 2 weeks).  It will get warmer as the day goes on, and I'll probably finish painting the garage.  My daughter's health is improving, and we enjoyed our outing yesterday; also shopped for clothes (on sale). 

Or two or three.  September has become full-fledged autumn weather.  Yesterday, it rained a bit and the wind picked up.  Last night the wind picked up more, it rained more; the power has gone out 2 times since yesterday, but back on again.  And I'm doing everything I can think of now before it goes out again.  I actually love this kind of weather, but my bones ache with old injuries that should not be there now.  I'm glad I got the chicken's cage protected before this kind of weather started.  She's doing well, but all the critters are looking at me with a sad, knowing look on their faces.  But as soon as I put out sunflower seed and suet, the birds come swooping in, undeterred by any kind of weather. 

This kind of weather puts us in mind of gathering and cutting up firewood, which we will do as soon as it stops blowing and raining.   

This is the anniversary of my son's death.  I had a dream, years before he died, of a big hill with a dirt road running up it, and saw a red motorcycle with my son driving it, going up the hill.  In the dream, I kept calling his name, trying to call him back, but he couldn't hear me.  The sound of a big crash, and an aching heart, woke up crying.  I couldn't know what this dream meant; only after it happened, did I understand it.  It's been such a long time ago.  Much longer than he was alive.  But the day remains a reminder that will always be with me. 

I got the chicken's house fixed up a bit better.  Some kind of animal, probably a raccoon, had torn down the plastic sheeting that protected the lean-to from the north wind, and I got busy and fixed it with a stapler, just to keep her warmer at night now.  I will clean out the entire cage area and the lean-to, including inside her house, when I am feeling better.  Raccoons are testing, always testing the defenses.   

Yesterday, I had to go into town again and get some medication prescription refilled, and picked up a head of lettuce; also dropped a bill in the mailbox.  On the way  home, I had the windows cracked so I wouldn't need to use the air conditioner.....soon I was coughing and choking.  By the time I got home, I was coughing non-stop and my throat was sore.  That was it for the day...

I read an article in my local paper, by Dr. Ida Allen, a local fitness/health guru, whose advice I have taken before with good results.  In her most recent article, she tells us to limit sugar and refined grains, and to eat garlic.  She also recommends the following for dealing with a sore throat...

"When it comes to a sore throat, I have found that the following remedy works wonders.  Start with 12 ounces of warm filtered water, add one heaping tablespoon of sea salt, one tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide, and four drops of regular clear iodine (clear so you don't stain your teeth).  Gargle with this solution every 20 to 30 minutes until symptoms subside.  For a child, use a spray nozzle to spray the solution to the back of the throat.  This will greatly reduce the bacterial count in the back of the throat, and will decrease inflammation, redness and pain."

I got together the sea salt, warm water (my own well water is 99.9% pure), and hydrogen peroxide.  Will look around to see if I have clear iodine (suppose not!) but used this partial recipe last night to gargle periodically.  It worked very well, and I was able to spend evening in bed, napping off and on, until a good night's sleep.  And it rained off and on last evening and during the night!  I said a prayer of thanks.

I made a supper by boiling together kielbasa sausage and cabbage, peeled potato and carrot, onion and garlic, adding a chicken boullion cube and other spices, and about 4 cups of water.  It was simple to make in one deep pan, made my throat feel better, made me break into a sweat.   

Today I feel better, but my body aches with the memory of pains I have had, have taken care of and cured; but the body remembers them and puts them out there again for you to remember what you did wrong. 

I've been outside, raking and cleaning out the garage - that seems to be most important to do today.  It is dry and sunny bright.  Some idiot left a brush pile burning and walked away, started a small forest fire, which was quickly put out.  Good thing there isn't any wind to speak of. 

I am very worried now about my daughter's declining health.  Her troubles keep on multiplying.  I find it hard to advise her, since I'm sure she has tried everything.  I wish they would find a cure for MS...I've lately been thinking that an answer may be found in deep breathing exercizes, and in controlling acid buildup in the stomach (and body).  She suffers a lot from acid, and can't seem to eat anything without upsetting her digestion.  I told her today she must not worry about me, as I seem to be in better shape than she is. 

I've been outside today, as I mentioned, and the acorns keep falling at regular/irregular intervals.  Sometimes they strike hard nearby, making me jump.  The metal roofing on the garage really makes a loud noise.  I got a lot more stuff separated from inside the garage, and I am almost ready to make a run to the dump.  But I overdid it, and got so dizzy, I got to the house and decided that I've done enough for today. 

John has finished putting up the panels on the walls of the garage, and now for the final cleanup and the last painting chores.  I have just 3 more panels to paint.  The side walls are 5 panels each, and each side took 1 gal. of paint.  I have 2 more gallons, 1 will cover the back wall, plus.  I will have that leftover and 1 more gallon to finish the peaks, but that will have to wait until next spring, at least.  Now, I can begin pulling things out of the garage.  I can put in windows and doors.  I'm covering the peaks with plastic sheeting for this winter.  It has taken me so much longer to do this much.  But I have had to learn, the hard way, to slow down and take it easy. 

My daughter picked me up and took me to the coumadin clinic to check my level of blood thinner.  They found the reading to be very much higher than it has been - could it be because we ate before we went to the clinic?  But they have ordered me to cut in half my medication for blood thinner.  That's fine...I look forward to the day when I hardly need medication at all...will continue though, as long as they tell me to. 

It still has not rained here in the northwoods for the entire month of September, and the leaves are barely turning color.  They are just withering and falling. 

My son was featured in a photo session of the local newspaper.  It was the show about exotic food, hosted on the Travel Channel.  I can't remember the name of the show or the host's name - will have to find out and post it later, but Snowshoe Baseball in Lake Tomahawk was the subject, and one picture was of my son.   

Just before sunset yesterday, I left the dogs in the house and walked down the driveway to see if the paint had dried on the garage.  It was a still evening, no wind, and the acorns were falling steadily and noisily from every side.  I stood there in front of the garage, looking into the darkening forest, perking my ears up at the sound of falling acorns all around me.  The sky was still brightly lit from the rays of the setting sun.

Then another noise surrounded me - it sounded like the harsh panting of a very large animal.  My eyes scrambled through the trees, trying to find out where the sound was coming from, but everywhere I looked, no explanation showed itself.  The sound was even coming from above, my eyes following it.  A raven flew by overhead, his wings beating out the exact rhythm of the "heavy breathing" sound I was hearing.  He greeted me, I guess, with a single "grauk" and flew on, just above treetop level.  But the sound all around me persisted for almost a minute more.  Usually there are two ravens, so I thought maybe the sound around me was produced by more than one bird.  But I saw nothing else. 

I walked back to the house, marveling at how changed the entire atmosphere was by the passage of this amazing bird.  Mysterious, powerful creature; he had greeted me with his call as he passed. 

It's hard to believe that Autumn is almost here, with temps in the 70's and 80's.  Window open at night, but it can't last too much longer.  I got the outside picture window washed with the long-handled squeegie yesterday - I didn't even need to get up on a ladder, which is good.  Truly, I don't know what I should do now - gather firewood and see if I can cut it up and stack it?  Mow the lawn?  Make a dump run?  I'm just either lazy or too afraid of hurting myself.  I'll make an effort on all three of those chores, but soon, it will be time to forget the outside work and get going indoors.  I'm just waiting for a vacuum cleaner....

We finally finished viewing all the episodes of  "Dexter" the other night, and can hardly wait to see the new season.  What to do until then?  We started watching the whole series over again, and many things are noticed that weren't apparent before.  The characters change over time, just like real people do.  Well, we've also watched "Nurse Jackie" and others of the new genre. 

I've finished reading "Kabloona" and really liked it.  On to "The Red Badge of Courage" and others that I finally picked up at the library.  I stopped at the little farmer's market stand by the highway and picked up lovely corn on the cob, tomatoes, cukes; made a salad and corn on the cob for supper.  I've also made my Best Ever Macaroni Salad, and I see by my blog that it is still a popular article.  I have expanded on it lately, substituting bacon and shrimp for the chicken, and now I always add one apple, chopped.  I should make a note on that article....

Looks like I really have nothing to say lately.  I will finally be able to start cleaning out the garage so I can clean the floor and who-knows-what in there.   

What a joy to listen to Barack's speech the other night - I was immediately relieved and once again primed to move forward with my support for his (and others') plans on health care reform. 

I believe that the untold criticism he is facing these days is nothing more or less than racism, disguised to look otherwise.  I wish the media would give as much coverage to "our" side as they give to the "other" side.  But once again, he made a lot of sense to me, with his fine speech that warmed my heart. 

The weather here continues to be warm, dry, with constant, even temperatures.  There has been no rain at all in the month of September though, and we are down several inches this month.  The leaves are simply drying on the trees and falling - there isn't much color. 

Today, John got started on the garage, putting up the last panels.  I will be able to finish painting, then cleaning out the inside of the garage for winter.  I am finishing the book "Kabloona" and it has at last, become a joy to read, as the white man finally adjusts his thinking in accordance to the native wisdom.  He has got it!  He now can marvel as he sees another white man coming into the territory, as "civilized" as he was at first, all angry, mystified, and impatient, focusing on what he perceives as "his stuff" and nobody else's.  Next books are waiting to be read, but I'll regret ending this one.   

I got started cleaning indoors where it most visibly needs it.  The windows haven't been done this year yet, and I don't have Windex anymore, so made up my own solution in an empty spray bottle.  I poured into it, one cup of hydrogen peroxide, one cup of vinegar, and one cup of water, added one drop of liquid dishwashing soap and gently shook it up.  It worked so well that I am amazed; the windows were easy to clean, and there was no streaking at all.  Not only that, it left a shine that is almost magical.  I've never had an easier time of window washing.  So I went on to cleaning the window frame too. 

Then I tackled the problem of the malfunctioning vacuum cleaner.  Took it all apart, the head anyway where it first picks up dirt.  Ohmigod, what a horrible packed mess!  It's the dog hair that really causes problems, but in this case, I also discovered a broken wheel, which means the vac won't sit properly on the surface to be cleaned, so I disconnected that front part, and managed to clean the walls, tops of things, and behind things with the hose attachments only.  I called the vac cleaner repair place, but they are closed until next Tuesday....of course.  Meanwhile, I'll just continue to search the house and my mind for where I must have put that wheel when I found it....hope I didn't throw it away.

Today, I have found my squeegy head with the windshield wiper blade for doing the windows outside that are too big or tall for me to reach.  Let's see if I can get there, now that I have the perfect window cleaning solution. 

We have been watching the tv series of "Dexter" which I thought was going to be horrific, but which I am completely mesmerized by now.  The story is actually interesting!  We have been catching up, as we never saw it before, so we watch two episodes every night.  You laugh...you shake your head...you cover your eyes....you ponder.  Interesting, and the sets are so...tropical.

Last night perfect peace and contentment settled over me - not that life has become problem-free, but that I felt that peace that comes from being on top of the moment, having done the best I can do.  The weather is beautiful, some leaves have turned color already, and blue jays are calling every morning. 

My Susie Q. Chicken has developed a habit of wanting to stay outdoors after dark and just sleep in her outer cage.  But that isn't as safe from predators as being shut in her house, so I have to convince her it's time to go in.  After all, I don't necessarily want to go outside in the dark to shoo her in and shut her door.  I have always managed her with a dry stalk of Jerusalem artichoke, poking it into her outer cage and shooing her indoors with that.  But nowadays she fights with the stick and tries to dodge directions.  I usually give up and wait until she is more cooperative, but last night, I was impatient and tried to prod her in.  We ended up in a samurai contest with the soft stick, which is now about half as long as it used to be.  I didn't win.....  Today I feel bad that I tried to force her in, so maybe I'll give her some special treatment to make up for it.  Poor girl.

I know I promised not to blog about politics, but I can only say that the current situation with Health Care Reform makes me sad and sometimes angry.  The insurance companies have a lot of power, don't they?  And they know how to use it to keep their profits high.  Okay....

I went shopping for groceries yesterday, and nowadays I split up shopping into 3 trips, which should make things easier for me.  It does, but I still had a frightful back/neck pain to deal with last night.  Also, I went to the bank and picked up the money (or checks) I borrowed to pay off my credit cards.  I am beginning to feel relieved and free from worry about that.  I mailed out those checks and can settle back and enjoy hassle-free, high-interest-free living. 

The garage still waits for my friend to finish his transmission installation so he can put up the panels to finish the garage.  So I have decided to move on with my own plans, which today, must center around fall housekeeping.  I haven't dusted for quite a while...my vacuum seems to be clogged....there are many small places to clean and small chores to do and it's time to come indoors and do them.  Intense cleaning efforts will be required..... 

I finished painting the 4x8' sheets on the garage, and they look really nice.....but the rest of the sheets are still waiting to be put on, so I can finish them, too.  John keeps saying he will get them up, and I hope he can.  He's still putting his new transmission into his Honda......

I feel so punky lately, that I'm beginning to suspect that I have flu - but that's just silly me again, always thinking the obvious worry.  My daughter is picking me up tomorrow to take me to the clinic and the next day, I have another appointment to settle up with the bank and mail out my credit cards for the last time.  They will be paid in full, and I can cut them up into teeny tiny pieces, hahahohoheehee! 

The weather continues beautiful, clear and mild, though temps are close to freezing at night.  I've seen the mother doe and her fat little one, spotted and sticking close to her clever mom, but now I see the nibbled plants in the yard, all around.  They eat everything.  Somehow, someone has been nibbling on the rhubarb, too, that is so well protected.  I doubt rabbits could get in there.  Could momma deer be sticking her head way in there, between the yarn, getting under the fencing that covers it, just to show me she can? 

Lets see now, I'm reading Kabloona, by Gontran de Poncins.  It's about Inuits (Eskimos) in an area that knew no white men, before the whites got to them all.  Having read about the horrors of South America (bugs, disease, humidity and heat, poisonous snakes, terrific weather patterns, and worst of all - oil drilling), I'm now in horrific dismay at how this white man is suffering in the intense cold up there.  He must be in great fear of getting left behind and freezing to death, at least.  Well, that's the joy of being able to read about it, and not going there.